A week ago tonight, actually right about this time… Ben had an enormous seizure.

It took 5 or 8 minutes for the the main part of his agony to pass, leaving him blind and very confused. It left him shivering and shaking uncontrollably. He was unable to walk. I phoned the vet, we rushed to meet. On the table in the clinic Ben recognized my voice and touch, he could also scent me and so I know: he knew he was in hospital. Every few moments he’d complain and thrash. Some caresses and words – he’d calm down. But… He was ready to go. A shot of morphine to ease him — and we had a few very sweet moments of peace. Soft words and he’d groan back. And then the lethal meds. My face was resting on his cheek when he took his last breath. Don, our vet cried more than I did. I quoted some scripture — that “not a bird falls from the sky that God doesn’t know”, and that the great beauty of creation — like Ben — is God’s masterwork.
Lord, I miss him. Elsie quit eating for a few days. We’re only just beginning to adapt.
See you soon, Bentleman. Thanks God! … for loaning him to us for a while.
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